Family Dinner


For the lonesome traveler

Honour thy 'father' and 'mother'   Clarified

Honour thy 'father' and 'mother'
so that you may live long
and that it may go well with you
in the land your God is giving you. i


The rule to honour thy father and mother can be found in many religions around the world. Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism and Confucianism all share this principle. ii
It appears, however, that generally this rule is only interpretated in its literal sense. Given our human longing for respect and immediate obedience this comes as no surprise. But even for the many daughters and sons, who, like myself, love their parents dearly, it somehow does not feel quite right. This feeling is supported by a statement of no other than Jesus Christ himself who said:
"And call no man your father upon the earth
for One
is your Father which is in heaven." iii
More importantly, limiting the understanding of this principle to a literal interpretation has also limited our understanding of who we are, where we come from, where we are going and what our relationship is with the rest of the world.

An interesting view of who we are and where we come from is found in the teachings of Silvanus, an old document which is part of the Nag Hammadi Library that was discovered near the upper-Egyptian town Nag Hammadi about 65 years ago:
But before everything else, know your birth.
Know yourself, know from what substance you are made,
from what race you are or from which dynasty.
Understand that you have come into being from three sources:
from the Earth
from the Formed
from the Created.
The body, of earthly substance has come into being from the earth.
The formed, for the sake of the soul, has come into being from divine memory.
The created, however, is the consciousness that is created
in the image of God
but the soul is formed according to her own heart.
What I mean to say is
that she, the soul, is the companion of that which is created
in His image.
Finally, matter, is the substance of the body, which has come into being from the earth.

Note that in Silvanus' view your biological father and mother are not even worth mentioning. Instead it seems that he would rather support the idea of the earth as your mother, the divine as your father and your soul as the little baby that during her life grows according to her own heart.
This idea that the earth is your mother and heaven your father was already explored in the previous course of the family dinner. If you would like another bit of that dish to refresh your memory, just ask your waiter.

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Taking the earth as our mother and the divine as our father gives a whole new outlook on the commandment 'Honour thy Father and Mother'. It would also mean that generally we are not very good at keeping this commandment. But it would also make the second part of the rule 'so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land your God is giving you' so much more understandable and logical.

The principle that if you honour your "father" and "mother" it will go you well are both from Christianity and Judaism. But I would be very surprised if this could not be found in other scriptures and religions as well.
My son, keep your father's
commandment,
and forsake not your mother's
teaching.
Bind them upon your heart always:
tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will lead
you;
when you lie down, they will
watch over you;
and when you awake, they will
talk with you. iv


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  1. The Bible, New International Version, Deuteronomy, 5.16.
  2. Jeffrey Moses, Oneness: Great principles shared by all religions, Ballantinebooks, New York, 2002, p. 48; www.onenessonline.com.
  3. The Bible, KJV (King James Version), Matthew 23:8-10
  4. See footnote 1.
© Brigitte Franssen 2007
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